Fishing: A First year’s view

At  ALA, words have the tendency to forsake their original meanings. “Fishing” is one fo those words.Back in the days of our anscestors, fishing meant catching fish for food or as a sport. Today, fishing is the search for bae (the one, the significant other, the boo).  At ALA, fishing is now the act of flirting or making advances towards someone. Out of it, attrocious lines such as “do you know what material my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.” or “if you were a tropical fruit you’d be a Fine-apple” arise.

Being a first year you’re considered to be fresh meat and so you’re immediately exposed to the thirst upon your arrival. People hoping to be startin’ somethin’ swarm towards you like bees to a blossoming flower. You’re stalked months before you even set foot on campus so that by the time you actually arrive, all that is left is for you to be introduced to traditions such as “quad walking” or “Sunday afternoon pizza.”

It is because we are exposed to this thirst that we receive nicknames like “thirsty firsties” regardless of the fact that we are the victims and not the predators. For those you that have not been privileged (or unlucky!)  enough  to experience this fishing first hand, do not despair because in ALA as the seasons change so does the general taste in “fish.” It is never really a question of if it will happen but when it will happen. According to my observations, some fishing seasons have passed and some are coming:

September: peak fishing time.

October: Formation of those early relationships

With November comes the “SAT celebration fishing” and the “exam support fishing.”

Still to come is my favorite type of fishing; the “December fishing.” This is the “let’s begin the New Year together” and the “no strings attached” fishing  that honestly only exists due to too much holiday excitement. Brace yourself guys; it’s coming.

Btw, for those of you in relationships, you’re not safe either. Do not forget that sometimes fish slip off the hook and someone else catches them.

Happy fishing.







A Poem for The Firsties

After a few days at ALA

You discover, in serious dismay

That breakfast really is the same every day

And that sitting on the grass really is okay

In fact, get used to it because you’re going to do it a lot.


Two weeks in and homework rolls in

Apparently ALA isn’t one big play pen

And you’re spending more time actually holding one

And eish your handwriting sucks now neh?

And all these strange expressions fly around everywhere sha


Around week three you feel great

Because you can remember some people’s names

And have stopped having to stretch out your heyyyyyyyyy

Because you can’t remember if it was IG or IJ

And you’re thinking maybe you aren’t losing it

Because now you know the difference between Imaobong and Eunice

Week three into four into five

Congrats for still being alive

You’ve been here a month but there’s way more

A lot of it will be great but there’ll be moments of horror

Where you’ll want to scream

But don’t do that because that’s not proactive

And EL is always watching you

So smile and make the most of a year of being called firsties

Don’t disappear in your work or be too thirsty

The second years will help you…well maybe.

Either way you’ll be aiight.

Cool? Cool.